Just 26 percent of men consult a doctor regularly, which means a lot of issues that commonly afflict them are found too late. Notably, testicular cancer is the most common form of cancer among those between 15 to 35 years old.

These are bleak numbers. But to turn them around, French men’s health association CerHom found another bleak number to exploit: over 50 percent of women have received a non-consensual dick pic, per the Journal of Sex Research in 2020.

All that data got spun through the turbine of TBWAParis, and what happened was this...

We're fondly reminded of a social media urban legend, where a guy hooks up with a woman and, while feeling her up, discovers a lump on her breast. He becomes alarmed and tells her to see a doctor as soon as possible. In a weirdly adorable twist of events, he discovers he may have saved her life.

I guess this is kind of like that?

Basically, TBWA set up a bunch of fake profiles of women. When men sent dick pics, they initially receive a generic response: "Hi, Simon! Upon close examination of your photo, it appears that one of your testicles is swollen. This could be a symptom of an infection or cancer. Please consider seeing a doctor and for more information, visit https://dickpic-diagnostic.com/."

LOL, "dickpic diagnostic."

Men are then encouraged to send their dick pics—they don't even have to take new ones!—to the mobile number 06 98 81 73 51 for anonymous, free consultations ... or just to have an extra phone to send their junk to.

For morbidly curious dick-pic recipients, the phone number can also be used to send image they've received. Imagine what a dude would say if he sent you a dick pic and you were able to respond with a diagnosis. He might cry non-consent, but hey, volunteering your genitals to someone without their permission is assault. Who wins in this crossing of swords? (Probably still the dude, if you end up saving his life. But if he's sufficiently terrified by the thought that all dating app prospects out there might also be in cahoots with a doctor, the unsullied photo rolls of millions of others may also be saved.)